and it happens again.

I need to be away from everything, for this time. For just some hours and some odd minutes. For some time, for a chance to while away forever, or otherwise I'll be stillborn and vacant, watching the stars and think only of drifting away inside my mind.

It is of an impending implosion inside me, of melting, of something inside starting to claw its way out along with the promise of immolation for this progression, but without the assurance of ever coming back as myself. If only I can call myself sad, then it would be an easier ordeal. Temporary and just a prolonged state of mind, a reverse amphetamine that will only last for some time.

There are a lot of things I miss, that I long for, or wish for; fervently enough that it I cannot mistake reality for what it really is, so I have a lot of daydreams, enough to compensate and to keep my imagination alive. I go overboard sometimes that there are mornings when I cannot remember my dreams.

This has to be done in the coming days, the sense of urgency is stronger now and there is a fear losing something if I cannot find a way to burn.

And because of the impossibility of being in your arms, the ocean is the only place I can think of where I can be.